


Split Ends

by Grandma_Wolf



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Day 6: AU, Interspecies Relationship(s), Itachi is bad at relationships in this, KisaIta Week, Kisame's a dragon in this, M/M, monster au, particularly Monsters in Casual Settings, unfortunately I wasn't able to write full-on sex-scenes to take advantage of that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 18:54:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11973561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grandma_Wolf/pseuds/Grandma_Wolf
Summary: It didn't take a sleuth to realize that Itachi Uchiha was the most handsome guy in school. The fact that he even ended up giving a goofball like Kisame the time of day was unbelievable. However, when weird occurences and swaths of destruction start popping up more and more, Kisame can't deny that maybe Itachi is simply... Too perfect. KisaIta Week Day 6: AU.Also an excuse to write two of my favorite men as monsters.





	Split Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Happy KisaIta Week again, dears! 
> 
> My apologies, I had been brainstorming what I was going to do for this year's celebration of our shark and weasel duo for a good month. However, things happened, I was barely able to write anything that wasn't school or commission-related; it was a mess.
> 
> Therefore, this little thing didn't turn out exactly as I had hoped... But I would be DAMNED if I didn't post it by the end of today! So, please, enjoy this little story. 
> 
> Ah, but before I depart let me just impart some knowledge: 
> 
> Did you know that the child of a human and a dragon is sometimes called a 'drake'? Just something I found interesting.

 

_Be wary of wishing desirable traits onto your children and wives..._

_For the unpredictable natures and malicious behaviors **will** find another way out. _

_You might reach for your loved one just to find that they have been cursed, transformed: their dark thoughts and urges and hungers personified by the vile, ruthless second mouth..._

_Of the Futakuchi-Onna..._

* * *

 

It had to have been illegal for one man to be that beautiful.

He was slender, but there was definite tone in his arms and legs. His skin was unfairly pearl-like and his eyes were deep dark pools that would pull one down into the abyss if you looked too long. But the two details that had Kisame Hoshigaki really crushing hard in his window seat during World Literature 301 were the man's low, gentle voice...

And the gorgeous locks of raven hair that, despite being held back by a red hair tie, still laid long down his back.

From the first day of the semester, Kisame had been downright tortured by those luxurious locks swaying in front of him. And, adding that to the tantalizing creature currently standing in front of him, reading out the assigned passage of the day, Kisame didn't stand a chance.

“... 'The monsters of the mind are far worse than those that actually exist. Fear, doubt, and hate have hamstrung more people than beasts ever have'.” He closed his book and concluded, “From Christopher Paolini's _Brisingr_.”

“Excellent, Mr. Uchiha!” The heavyset woman at the front of the room clapped her hands. “Now then, about your first project for this class...”

Kisame watched the object of his attentions sit down. He quickly scribbled down the gist of what was expected of all of the students in the room and then he went back to watching.

Itachi Uchiha. From the ice-breaker activity they completed on the first day of class, Kisame knew that he was 24, had a bit of a sweet tooth, was the older of two brothers, and was going majoring in psychology.

And then there was Kisame. Six foot-seven inches, resident goofball with an awful sense of humor, rugby captain with the body to show for it, and kinesiology major.

There were also his electric blue shocks of hair that seemed to be popular enough with guys and girls alike.

It did go pretty good with his darker skin tone, so maybe he could keep to the style for a whi – What is he going on about?! He had better things to focus on than his own messy hair, he had something better to focus on!

“And, remember!” The professor concluded, “Feel free to team up with someone for this project. Two heads are definitely better than one!”

That was it.

That was Kisame's window in!

* * *

 

After class ended that day, Kisame decided to give Itachi a few seconds' worth of a head-start. He then jogged out of the room and slowly made his way to where the quiet man was walking through the campus courtyard.

Itachi stopped for a moment. The briefest smile flashed on his lips before he started walking again. However, Kisame finally decided to run over and around. “Hey!”

Itachi stopped and turned around. “Yes?” He looked up at Kisame, “Can I help you?”

Now that he stood in front of the man he had been admiring from behind for the past semester, Kisame had to reel back his enthusiasm just a bit.

“So...” Kisame stuck his hands into his pockets; you know, did a little lean back to look cool. “I was wondering if you had a partner for that project in class yet.”

Itachi looked at Kisame, his expression not one that Kisame could completely suss out.

“Mr. Hoshigaki,” Itachi finally broke the not-quite silence, “I happen to know that you have some of the best grades in our class, second only to me. So, you'll understand when I ask you...”

Kisame was hurled back into the mire of hesitancy when he watched Itachi saunter up to him. He stopped a breath away. “Are you asking me as a genuine pursuit of knowledge? Or as a window to ask me out on a date?”

And, well, Kisame didn't see much use in arguing or defending his intentions. If Itachi was going to reject him, may as well get it over with now.

“Both?” He answered, his lips forming a sharp, lop-sided grin.

Itachi blinked up at Kisame. It was as if the response was so unexpected that Itachi had been thrown for a row. He turned away, that smile trying to grow back on his face.

Kisame started after him just to be stopped when Itachi said, “I happen to really enjoy the cakes and sweet teas at Javalpaca's.”

Kisame was in.

He didn't even mind the subtle unsure twitch in the corner of Itachi's eyes.

* * *

 

From that first study-date, Kisame was stuck on Itachi like frosting on a cinnamon roll. Itachi grew to be exceptionally fond of the other man as well, though his expressions and enthusiasm had that geisha-like restraint.

Actually, there were a lot of little things that Kisame noticed when he and Itachi started getting more involved.

Itachi tended to tire easily: especially when on any sort of long walk or a long presentation in classes, Itachi would eventually have to stop for a few minutes or ask for a chair. As if he was bearing some unseen source of great weight.

It wasn't the only thing.

Whenever Itachi would sleep over at Kisame's apartment, he insisted on spending 30 minutes to an hour by himself in the bathroom before coming to bed. Kisame didn't mind a long bedtime ritual, but the time and the locking seemed a bit excessive. Though, the tightly bound braid of hair Itachi would come out with, held additionally by a pale white hair tie, was a sight.

The last detail, however, was the one Kisame couldn't even attempt to argue against in regards to weirdness. But he didn't see any need to push matters and ruin a perfectly good thing by being nosy.

Although...

* * *

 

Kisame had noticed it for the first time during one of their dates, though he had seen the signs earlier on.

Itachi loved sweets and had a good appreciation for decent food. But the man hardly.

Ate.

A thing.

Kisame was halfway through the burger he had ordered when he watched Itachi take one bite of his pasta dish and then push the rest away.

“Is something wrong with it?” Kisame asked, reaching for the plate, “I can get them to take it back.”

“No, no.” Itachi shook his head, “It's fine. I'll just get a to-go box for it.”

“Okay...” Kisame frowned a bit. But Itachi shot over a smile that had him chuckling and digging into his own meal.

After Kisame had finished his own food, around thirty minutes later, Kisame had to take a quick phone call.

“Hey cousin!” He drawled into the phone, “Usually I'd love to hear your voice, but I'm on a date.”

“Oh, is it the pretty one with the nice ass...ets?”

“Suigetsu, I will literally rip you a new one so fast...”

“Okay, okay.” The voice on the other end started over, “Where'd you leave the strainer? Samehada's been looking for it for hours.”

Kisame rolled his eyes and shook his head. “In the cabinet on the third shelf. Now, be good and clean up after yourselves.” He hung up and walked back to the dining room to meet up with Itachi.

Kisame blinked, noticing that the table was now completely empty. No trace of their drinks, Itachi's barely-touched meal, the tablecloth, or Kisame's plate.

Which still had some fries on it, damn it!

“Wow,” He said as he walked over, “Talk about fast clean-up.”

Itachi didn't look up from the bare table. His fingers were combing through his hair and it wasn't until Kisame sat down that he jerked up and said, “I accidentally spilled my drink. Since they were already here, I asked them to pack our food up for us.”

“Oh.” Kisame sat down. He drummed his fingers against the table for a bit, bit at his thumbnail... Basically did anything to stop the questions that wanted to boil over like a first attempt at making rice.

A waiter walked over and cleared his throat. “Sorry about the wait, guys. The person who cleaned the table accidentally...” He glanced to Itachi. “Threw your leftovers away, yeah! So we're just going to make you two new entrees for you to take home. On the house!”

“Well,” Kisame shrugged, “If you guys insist. You going to be okay with that, Itachi?”

Itachi nodded, finally managing to untangle his fingers from his hair.

* * *

 

After that, there was the time when they were in Kisame's room. They were doing the typical Netflix and Chill with a docudrama about the perception of the supernatural in medieval Europe.

Kisame had moved closer to Itachi on the couch in between making sure the latter was focused on the movie. He gradually draped a large arm over his shoulder and gently brought Itachi close –

Why was his hand going numb?

Kisame blinked and tried to retrieve his hand, but it was stuck: wound suffocatingly tight in a tangle of strands. He glanced behind Itachi just as he noticed that something was off. His hand was trapped: entangled in Itachi's lustrous hair. “Babe, I... kind of have a situation?”

“Shit!” Itachi muttered to himself. He seized his hair by the root and squeezed tightly, clenching his teeth at the pain. It took a moment but Itachi's hair loosened up just enough so that Kisame could unwind his hand.

He started rubbing the feeling back into his fingers, chuckling, “Having a bit of a bad hair day, huh?” His hand still throbbed and hurt like a bitch, but Kisame was managing to laugh it off. Itachi, on the other hand, kept a hold on his hair and rushed into the bathroom.

Kisame reached a hand out to him after the door had slammed shut. “I didn't mean it.”

* * *

 

The next time came when Itachi had Kisame pinned against the living room couch. Both men were heated, their skin damp with sweat from an impromptu rugby game that Kisame had used all of his charming wiles to get Itachi to join in on.

Kisame pulled Itachi down, their lips smacking together before Itachi dug his fingers into Kisame's chest: easing forward with his tongue and mapping a wet, sticky path into Kisame's mouth.

Their tongues slipped against each other, Itachi reaching a hand up to stroke Kisame's cheek as Kisame reached behind him to knead at the smaller man's ass and pull his hips closer to ease the strain that both of their cocks were feeling from the confinement of their shorts. Itachi rubbed down against the heat underneath him. He groaned into Kisame's mouth, the sound vibrating against kiss-sensitive lips.

Itachi pulled away to just _look_ at Kisame: an expression of love heavy in his eyes. If you asked Kisame, it was like everything had taken on a hazy, rose-colored hue that made him focus on Itachi and only Itachi.

Just being this close to him made Kisame's throat tighten: it stole his breath away, it started cutting into his skin –

“ _NO!”_

Kisame heard Itachi scream but it was drowned underneath an ocean of white noise. The squeezing around his neck was pulled away. Kisame sat up and rubbed at the lightly bleeding nicks on his skin. When he pulled his fingers away, there was a faint smudge of blood on his fingertips.

He licked at them without thinking twice before looking to Itachi. “Hey, what's going --”

Itachi had already bolted to the bathroom with his hair tie in hand and a miserable look on his face. The resounding 'BANG!' of the bathroom door locking tight snapped Kisame out of his dazed state. Kisame coughed as his breathing returned to normal and his vision faded back into place. Man, what had happened there? They were just about to get down

“Why can't you just let me have this?”

Silence.

“I won't let you hurt him; I'd sooner die.”

More silence.

“Damn you... What did I ever do to deserve this?”

Kisame bolted far from the door just before it opened to reveal an exhausted-looking man.

Itachi's eyes were a slight red: the sign of stifled tears and shaky breaths. He had braided his hair and even Kisame could tell that the plait was extremely tight this time around.

“'Tachi,” He stood to his feet, “Baby, please... Talk to me.”

“I'm fine.” Itachi quipped back. “Please, can we just go to bed?”

Kisame shook his head. “No, Itachi. Something's wrong, why can't you just talk to me?”

Itachi ignored him as he moved past and got into bed. “I'm tired, Kisame.” He muttered back, so low that Kisame almost didn't hear him. “I'm just so tired...”

* * *

 

The morning sun broke through the deep blue curtains of the bedroom window. Kisame stretched his powerful arms and legs out besides himself on the bed. An admittedly obnoxious yawn flew from his lips and rolled through the messy floors. Kisame sat up, smacked his lips, and gruffed out, “How about breakfast before you leave?”

He reached out to the side of the bed Itachi liked sleeping on but recoiled when he felt cold sheets and the absence of a body. That sobered Kisame right up. He whipped his head around, asking, “Baby? You okay?”

Itachi left the bathroom several minutes later: clothes pressed, shoes shined, hair bound back in its tie.

“I have to head out.” Itachi briskly made his way out of the room. “I have to meet my with my brother to meet his new boyfriend. Talk to you later?”

Itachi walked over and pecked Kisame on the cheek. “Okay?” Kisame said. Itachi was out of the apartment faster than one could say 'hey, you're walking awfully fast'. But Kisame supposed this _did_ leave his apartment clear enough for his cousins to come over.

Eh, they had their own keys: they could let themselves in. Kisame fell back into bed and was snoring away before he knew it.

* * *

 

“Kisame?” The voice of one of his cousins called out from the kitchen, “Can you come in here please?”

Kisame snapped up, groaning. That couldn't have been more than half an hour... So, clad in nothing but a pair of black boxers, Kisame left his bedroom and yawned as he made his way to the kitchen.

Ah, what a lovely thing a kitchen was. A room of edible magic and science coming together to create gorgeous concoctions of scents and textures. A room that looked like it had just been subjected to two atomic bombs and a revolution.

“Wait, _what_?!” Kisame shook himself clear of any remnants of sleep when he saw the disaster that his kitchen had been turned into. Shattered dishes, empty containers tossed asunder, sticky stains splashed across the walls and table. “What the hell did you guys _do_?! I'm almost expecting FEMA to come in through the door any second!”

“Hey!” Suigetsu jabbed a finger in Kisame's direction, “Don't you yell at us! Samehada and I just came over to help you with the Dragon Corps charity picnic!”

Samehada agreed, “We walked in and found the kitchen like this. Is everything okay?”

Kisame still couldn't believe what he was seeing. Truth be told, the areas that had gotten the worst of it were the pantry and the fridge: all the food in them having been cleared out.

He folded his arms and thought about what had led up to this before remembering:

Itachi _had_ been in quite the rush to leave that morning.

* * *

 

They didn't meet up again for a few days: Itachi had taken a few days off from classes to go out of town. But when Kisame caught up with Itachi after classes, he decided to face the bull and its horns head on.

“So...” Kisame looked around. He needed a way to break the ice that wasn't hurling a cinderblock into a frozen lake mid-winter.

Fuck it.

“Had a case of the munchies a few nights ago, huh?” He nudged Itachi's shoulder, not noticing how Itachi had locked up. “I know the feeling: the night before my SATs I was so nervous I ate everything in my parents' fridge and some of the stuff in the freezer.”

Kisame turned around, expecting to see a quirked eyebrow, a blush, a smirk.

But what he got was Itachi's face pulled into an expression of cold, quiet horror.

“What?” Itachi whispered, eyes wide and looking to the ground where his books had fallen.

Kisame frowned. He tried to keep his words jovial, but now even he was getting frustrated. “Yeah, you know: I stocked up on stuff to help out with the charity picnic this weekend and, when Samehada and Suigetsu came over after you left, everything was gone!” He forced a chuckle but even he could tell that his expression was straining a bit.

Itachi crumbled. He forced his face into his palms, whispering, “No, no... Why? Why now? Why again?”

Kisame had had enough. He folded his arms and said, as calmly as possible, “Itachi, you need to tell me the truth. Actually, no. You are _going_ to tell me the truth and I am not going to leave you alone until you start opening up to me.”

“Kisame, I am _begging you_!” Itachi abruptly sobbed out, “Just leave it alone! I... I won't come over to your apartment anymore, alright? Just, _please_ , leave it be!”

“ **ITACHI!”** Kisame roared, **“WOULD YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG ALREADY?!”**

The area went silent. Kisame's words echoed through the courtyard and Itachi shut his eyes.

If he didn't address this, he could make it go away.

If he didn't address this, he could _make it go away_.

_'Sure... Ignore me~! I'll definitely just lie back and let you fuck me over again like you have been for these past eight months!'_

“It isn't like that and you know it!!” Itachi's eyes shot open and he realized that he had screamed those words out loud instead of in his mind.

Kisame was done. His face was a winter's storm over a choppy sea. **“Tell. Me. Now.”** He grit out. And Itachi bemoaned his fate because there was no way for him to get out of this.

He didn't want to lose Kisame. He just couldn't: the other man was the best thing to happen to him in years.

Itachi took a deep breath to settle himself. “Come with me.” He gestured for Kisame to follow him to a quiet, secluded area behind the library.

Kisame followed and really hoped that Itachi wasn't going to try and distract him with a quick and sloppy makeout against the wall. Nay, they walked over and Itachi stepped a few paces away from Kisame.

“Kisame.” He said, “I am not going to lie to you. What I'm about to show you... I have struggled to keep hidden from everyone I have ever cared about. But, despite my best intentions – Agh!” He clutched at his head as if a sudden migraine had kicked up.

Kisame was suddenly apprehensive. Sure, Itachi could just be stalling for time but he didn't want to see his boyfriend in any semblance of pain. “Itachi--”

“Kisame, let me _finish_!” Itachi begged, the corners of his eyes tense with the pain he was holding at bay. Kisame waited and Itachi was soon able to breathe and speak normally. His skin had become damp with the sweat of his exertions. Whatever he was doing was almost killing him. “Despite my best intentions, I've always lost my hold on the stone-heavy control that I've had to build all of these years. Kisame. I have to ask you and despite everything I've done, I need you to promise to do as I ask.”

Kisame said nothing. But nodded anyway.

Itachi's chest lifted and shudders danced through him. He reached behind him, saying, “Please don't run.”

He ripped out the hair-tie that was holding his hair back and the dark locks suddenly took on a life of their own: lashing here and extending out there.

“ _So the truth is out at last, huh?”_ A new voice cackled out. Kisame blinked and made to ask a question but Itachi beat him to it and turned around. Kisame needed a moment but he soon saw it.

Deep in the growing expanse of Itachi's hair, right at the back of his head, was a second mouth. A salacious thing full of sharp teeth and a slithering tongue.

“You're an _other_?” Kisame whispered. For ' _other'_ was the proper term used for anyone who fell outside of the typical distinction of human or animal. The university they attended had made nation-wide news for being on of the first to allow _others_ to attend classes with humans. But, for the important matter at hand, Kisame shook his head, “Wait, not just a regular _other_! You're a... Shit, what was it called again? Futaba? Futanari? Futon?”

Itachi, still upset, managed to chuckle a bit. “Remind me never to look through your internet history.” He cleared his throat, “The... word you're thinking of is _Futakuchi-onna_.”

Itachi's hair writhed and the mouth hidden in the depths smirked.

***

**How did this even happen? I mean, were you cursed or born?**

…

… _Whenever I think back to my upbringing, I always find myself_ amazed _at how my parents never expected anything bad to come of it._

_I was the first child born to my parents. Both my mother and my father, during labor, only had one prayer; one wish that pulled and teased their hearts._

_'Let our child be perfect and polite.'_

**But, come on, kids aren't perfect. Kids jump and play and bite and scratch and try to fly off of furniture.**

_Well, my parents didn't want to hear that. And, as if to answer their prayers,_ I _was born. I was brilliant, according to my mother: quiet, diligent, a prodigy in all means. I didn't even eat much. But, of course, things started going downward._

_Food started disappearing from the pantry and refrigerator in the middle of the night. Several family cats would just disappear. And a terrible whispering soon started._

_But it wasn't until my mother tried to brush my hair one day and it... it_ attacked _her: my second mouth and my unruly hair tore off two of her fingers and was almost about to go for the entire arm before my father came over._

_After that, well, my parents were horrified at the notion of having me around. And my mother got pregnant with my little brother soon after so the idea of having a monster like me in the same house as a newborn baby was impossible. They sent me to live with my uncle who taught me how to calm my hair down and how to make the binding ties that I use for it._

***

They had slid down to sit on the ground. Kisame had taken Itachi's hand in his own, though Itachi's hair was not amused by the motion. "So, the reason you don't eat much..." 

Itachi nodded, "Me and my hair are connected. Anything  _it_ eats ends up in  _my_ stomach. And it doesn't know the meaning of restraint." Itachi felt his hair readying another tirade so he gathered some of it in his hands and started braiding. "Everything that happens to it I feel three-fold..."

“You didn't have to hide this from me.” Kisame said, “I mean, what, I'm sure you told your other boyfriends about this.”

Itachi turned to Kisame and said, completely dead-faced, “My hair _ate_ my last boyfriend.”

“ _Oh, you mean Ryan?”_ Itachi's hair asked, _“He was an ass. Better off in our stomach than being a douche.”_

Kisame looked from Itachi to his hair and back again. They were practically night and day in their mannerisms. But, even the knowledge of his boyfriend having a giant hungry mouth in the back of his bad hair-day didn't necessarily turn Kisame off. “We can make this work.” Kisame promised him. “You'll see, it'll be great. You won't even have to use the ties anymore.”

* * *

 

Their first trip out after that day found Itachi's hair devouring a dog who had gotten too yappy.

A day at the beach had Itachi's hair lifting Kisame up off the ground and hurling him into the sea.

Then there was the time when Kisame met up with Itachi at school just for Itachi's hair to lash out and slam him into a nearby wall.

So, long story short, this was _not_ working out.

* * *

 

“Itachi, come back!” Kisame limped after his boyfriend after a particularly rough altercation with Itachi's hair.

Itachi shook his head, “Kisame, no! This is _exactly_ what I knew would happen! This is why I was working so hard to keep you safe!”

Kisame, seemingly recovered after only a second, ran to cut Itachi off. “Itachi, no disrespect, but I am a grown man. I can keep an eye out for myself!” Itachi's hair started coiling and curling. “And if I want to stay with this relationship and see where it goes, I will. I'm not going to be scared off by some salty split ends!”

“ _Split ends?!”_ Itachi's hair snapped out at Kisame, _“That's rich coming from your tacky dye-job_!”

“That's enough!” Itachi started walking away again, his hair hissing and barking out all sorts of bitter words and insults. A lot of them aimed at Kisame, some of them aimed at Itachi. Kisame marched over, determined to make Itachi _listen_ for once.

“ _Would you back off?!”_ Itachi's hair yelled and gathered some of itself into a sharp point. Itachi gasped but he was too late to stop his hair from plunging the sharp edge into Kisame's chest with a splash of crimson raining upon the ground.

“NO!” Itachi felt as if ever worst-case scenario had boiled up to fruition when he saw Kisame stumble away and clutch at his bleeding chest. “What did you _do?!_ ” He screamed at his hair who replied,

“ _He needed to get_ out _of our personal space! Too bad he didn't realize it – what is he doing?”_

Itachi turned to see Kisame's form almost... _fading_ in and out between two phases. The first was the normal ruggedly handsome state that Itachi had gotten used to. The other form... It appeared that Itachi wasn't the only _other_ in their relationship if mighty horns, blue skin, sharp claws, and a spiked tail all mounted onto a powerful eight-foot frame was any indication. A glamour? Usually those were reserved for  _others_ who felt horribly self-conscious. Itachi was abruptly weighed down by the thought that here he was bemoaning his existence while being able to mostly pass for human, but his boyfriend had to spend a fortune just to walk the streets.

The wound had healed and Kisame groused out, **“Wha...”** He heard the raspy thunder of his voice and took a look at himself. **“Shit..!”** He growled, tail lashing behind him and sharp teeth glinting in the light. **“This glamour cost $1500!!”**

Itachi made careful steps over to the creature who was his boyfriend, “Kisame, I'm so sorry, I--”

“ _1500?!”_ His hair huffed, _“And you couldn't have found yourself a glamour to make you look less busted?”_

“Stop that!” Itachi grabbed at his hair, wishing he could strangle it, “Haven't you ruined _enough_ of my life today?”

The mouth in Itachi's hair grinned. _“Nope.”_

As hair and owner bickered, Kisame was losing his patience faster than a broken dam lost water. It was enough that Itachi hadn't trusted him to learn of proper nature to start off with, but the way that Itachi's hair was acting.

The true intention, as obviously shallow as it was, was aggravating.

“ **Would you stop with the jealousy already?!”** Kisame roared and, despite Itachi's warnings and pleads and protests, dove into the tangling forest of Itachi's hair.

“ _Okay!”_ Itachi's hair hissed and cackled, _“He's making our job easy! Come on, you fucking menace!”_

Kisame pushed and pulled and the thick boughs and locks until he had a clear view of that menacing mouth of lashing tongue and vicious fangs. Kisame gulped. Not out of fear or unease.

Itachi's hair was kind of...

“ _Get the hell away from me, you lumm--”_

Kisame surged forth, allowing his true drake-form to bleed into focus as he forced his lips upon Itachi's hair.

Both Itachi and his hair choked at the gesture: Itachi's face turning scarlet.

For once... Itachi's hair didn't know how to react.

All it knew... was that a big, handsome other was slipping a forked tongue into him. And it was so addictive.

Itachi's hair wrapped around Kisame's waist. It didn't want to suffocate or choke him, it needed him closer!

Kisame growled as two longer than suitable tongues wrapped around each other: the tongue of Itachi's hair exploring his own. It was uncharted territory; untested waters. Kisame pulled back, Itachi's hair panting and licking its lips. _“No! You can't stop now! We're just getting hard and wet over this, right?”_

Itachi, whose nerves were ablaze with vibrating lashes onto his psyche, shook his head: hands covering his drooling mouth to keep any embarassing noises at bay.

Kisame let out a smoky sigh that coiled up from his nostrils. **“Not stopping...”** His words were so brittle, so harsh in his natural form. **“Not here...”**

Kisame pulled Itachi against him, dwarfing the smaller man's form. A pair of mighty wings blocking out the light of the sun.

Something about the violent attack and the awful words being yelled at him mixing with the failure of his glamour made Kisame's draconic blood sing with the essence of a challenge.

And he would _definitely_ take it.

* * *

 

The lights had been turned off, the windows drawn. Kisame's apartment was quiet.

Except for the sound of heavy breaths and quiet whispering. In Kisame's bedroom the air was thick with the ripe smell of sex and Itachi was tangled up in the torn remains of the drake's bedsheets. His fair skin now hosted a baker's dozen of bites and hickeys, and the fact that some of his hair was now sticky with Kisame's cum was barely a deterrent when he was just so fucked-out and content.

The bed shifted and Itachi watched the hulking form of his boyfriend get lean in between his legs and start lapping up his release with that hot, sinful tongue.

“ _Fuck me, you can't be real...”_ Itachi's hair whispered in awe, unable to lift any of itself due to the lack of energy.

“I think...” Itachi panted, trying to shy away from Kisame licking his cum from his stomach and soft member. “You managed to fuck my hair into shock.”

Kisame merely purred in response. **“The pleasure was mine.”**

* * *

 

Itachi could have _cried_.

It seemed as though Kisame taking charge and, ahem, fucking both him and his hair into submission persuaded his hair away from anymore murderous urges.

The noisy dogs upstairs were allowed to stay living. The new ice cream cart that Kisame and him passed on a recent day simply toddled along. Itachi fell asleep without binding his hair one time and, despite waking up in a panic, he simply found his hair using his phone to carry on a text conversation with his boyfriend.

Oh, and Itachi could finally eat more than just a bite of food without feeling nauseous. It was now more of a 50/50 and Itachi had forgotten just how much he loved food.

He even had gotten to visit his parents and without his hair lashing out at everyone, it had been a joyous occaision.

Itachi's life had never been more wonderful!

…

So why did he bear such an abhorrence for the current state of things?

* * *

 

It seemed to start when, one day, Kisame had come over for lunch and a cramming session. After they had all eaten, they moved to the living room couch and started reading through the assigned books for their current class.

“ _Make yourself comfortable!”_ Itachi's hair had insisted. Kisame looked to Itachi.

“Is that going to be okay?”

Itachi nodded. “This apartment is enchanted to make room for my hair's whims. It should do as such for you.”

Kisame nodded and didn't need much more convincing before he allowed his glamour to fade. He was afraid he would hit the ceiling but, just as Itachi had said, the apartment grew to accompany him.

They sat down on the growing couch and Itachi was taking notes on four chapters in particular in a heavy research tome.

The air became clearer, with a slightly familiar undertone.

That had to be the mist that Kisame breathed out from time to time. But he only did it when he was happy, distressed, or turned on and Itachi hadn't done anything to –

“ _How's it feel?”_

“ **Fuck...”**

“ _Mm, yeah, I know it feels good for you. It feels amazing for me...”_

Itachi felt his body heat up even before he turned to see his hair wrapping one of its locks around Kisame's cock and stroking the massive tool from base to tip. Pre-cum seeped out from the slit in the pointed tip like a faucet and Itachi mentally chastised his hair. 'What are you doing?! I invited him to study, not for you to molest him!!'

 _'Hey, back off!'_ His hair wasn't hearing it, _'It's been way too long since I've spent any time with him! Besides, listen to him~'_ His hair sped up a bit, Kisame biting back a growl that crackled like thin ice. Itachi was unable to look away as Kisame's hips canted upwards: fucking into the slick hole that his hair made for him. _'Not to mention,'_ His hair added, _'I found out that dragon-cum does wonders for hair shine and growth.'_

Itachi didn't want to hear anymore. Not Kisame's growls and pants, not his hairs perverted comments, and not his own softer noises as the close, heated contact made his own dick begin to rise from the stimulus around him.

* * *

 

His hair was out to get him. It had to be. That was Itachi's main thought as he woke up one evening after sleeping over at Kisame's to find his mouth and eyes bound by his hair. The worst thing was that he could hear Kisame grunting as he fucked into him from behind: the position having become a far favorite. The slick sounds of the drake's cock pushing into him and pulling out mixed into a carnal melody of sweat and musk, as did the filth coming from his hair.

 _“Fuck~!”_ His hair panted out, _“Come on, come on! Shove it in harder! Fuck... yes~! I love you, I love you so damn much~!”_

Those were words that Itachi hadn't even mustered up the courage to say yet. And here his hair was: blurting them out in passion as if they were typical mid-coitus word-vomit.

Itachi could hear the sound of Kisame's wings flapping; his hips stuttering in their thrusts as he started to come inside of his ass. He always came so much like this. Cum sluiced out of his abused hole and created a puddle on the sheets beneath them. As Kisame pulled out and Itachi's hair gave a content sigh, the only thought in Itachi's mind was how much happier Kisame seemed to be when it was just him and his hair in the picture.

* * *

 

Kisame, back in his glamour (he had a presentation due and he couldn't risk scaring his classmates), saw Itachi across the courtyard one day at the university. It had been a while since he had been able to be around his boyfriend without the dazed state that his lack of glamour-use would bring about, but he just wanted to check up on the other man.

“Itachi! Hey, babe!” Kisame jogged over in a deja-vu inspired scene from their first meeting.

But Itachi wasn't as responsive as the first time. “Oh,” He said, “Did you want to talk to my hair again?”

“ _I heard someone mention me!”_ Itachi's hair coiled up and smiled... The gesture immediately falling flat when it saw that Kisame was back in his glamour. _“What? Boo! Get rid of the glamour, buddy! Your half-dragon self is where its at~!”_

Kisame ignored the salacious words and shoved them to the background. “Itachi, look at me.”

Itachi didn't listen until just when it was on the verge of being rude. He looked up and Kisame gasped.

“Baby... Baby, what's going on?”

“I'm surprised you would notice anything outside of my hair's flirting or groping.” Itachi turned and began a brisk retreat. _“Hey!”_ His hair hissed at him, _“Don't drag me into your pity party! What happened to 'Kisame is the best thing to ever happen to us'?!”_

“He is.” Itachi replied and kept walking.

“ _What happened to 'I would rather die than hurt him'?!”_

“I would.”

“ _Then WHY are you running away like a little bitch?!”_

“BECAUSE HE DOESN'T NEED TO WASTE TIME WITH ME WHEN HE HAS YOU!!”

That had been the loudest Itachi had even been in his life: the words echoing up to the tops of the buildings surrounding them. Itachi's hair fell silent and Itachi was able to continue. “He has more fun with you, can be more sexually-involved with you. Not only that, but you allow him to his natural self; something that is overwhelming to me sometimes, even with how much I love him. It's more than obvious that I've been ignoring the happiness of the both of you for my own faint attempt of normalcy. So, even if it means surrendering to you... I'll stand aside and let you have him. It's better off for you to be happy at my expen--”

“ _Oh go to Hell, you manipulative piece of shit!”_ Itachi wanted to say something. His words were smothered into a gasp when his hair lashed at him and tied him up. It wrapped around his neck and squeezed.

“ _Everything is about you, you, you, isn't it?! What about me?! I never asked to be attached to you: you created me by repressing your emotions and with your fucking eating disorder!”_

“Y-you're... lying..!” Itachi choked.

“ _No, fuck you!”_ Itachi's hair screamed, _“You use me as a scapegoat for everything bad in your life when theeonly thing that I ever did originally was attack mother in self-defense and eat to keep us both alive when you refused to!! All these years you've kept me bound and choked with those fucking holy ties and treated me like a monster!”_ When Itachi fell to his knees, his hair continued, _“Well the only monster I see here is you! Kisame doesn't deserve you but it is not for the reasons you want to use for your martyrdom fetish!! I finally have someone who loves me; YOU'RE NOT RUINING THAT!!”_

“Itachi, stop!” Kisame ran and pulled at the hair binding his boyfriend. “Both of you need to stop it now!!”

Itachi's hair only stopped because Kisame was so close. It unwound itself ever so slightly and Itachi glared at the curling strands on either side of his face.

“Okay, you know what?” Kisame began, tapping his foot and shaking his head, “Yeah, I like being out of my glamour with you two. And Itachi, your hair has a point.”

Itachi opened his mouth, “But--”

“No, listen to me!” Kisame cut him off, “You keep way too many secrets and you don't open up to anyone outside of this perfect and polite image you want to cling to so desperately! Your hair, as much as you hate it, is the most honest thing about you and that's something I've been desperate for in whatever we have here!”

“ _Ha!”_ Itachi's hair jabbed an accusatory length into his face.

“Oh, don't _you_ get cocky.” Kisame turned his attention to Itachi's hair, “You have your own issues! I get it: you're excited that someone is lavishing you in attention for once. But you need to learn some control.”

“ _I am in control!”_ Itachi's hair insisted.

“No. No you're not.” Kisame told the writhing locks. “Between your constant sexual advances and the constant texts and wrapping all over me, I'm feeling smothered by you! And, with _both_ of you, the only reason I've been going along with everything is in the hopes that the two of you will grow up and realize that, love it or hate it, you two are in the same boat and need to get along! Instead of acting like a couple of pissy high-school students!”

“ _O-oh.”_ Itachi's hair meeped out. Itachi stayed silent.

“I don't know...” Kisame scratched the back of hjs head. “Maybe we should try taking a break. I just...” He tossed his hands up in the air and exhaled his exasperation. He hated doing this... “I don't feel like we're good for each other right now. And I don't want to be a negative in someone else's life. Especially not someone I love.”

“ _No..!”_

“Please.”

“ _Don't go..!”_

“I'm sorry.”

Kisame looked to Itachi and saw him in tears and his hair depressed and flat.

“ _I'm sorry.”_ His hair echoed, _“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I-I'll go back to shutting up! You'll never have to hear from me or anything ever again!”_

“No, wait!” Itachi stood up on shaky legs. “I won't complain about you spending time with my hair! You can remove your glamour as much as you want, so please--”

“Don't leave...”

Kisame groaned and started to walk away. But why?! Hadn't both Itachi and his hair been sincere in their begging? _“Wait, why are you leaving? We said all the right things!”_

“You're not getting it!” Kisame was so frustrated that his glamour flickered. The drake loomed over both Itachi and his hair. **“I love** _ **both**_ **of you.”** The words rolled like thunder in his chest. **“I want** _ **both**_ **of you.”**

“You can have both of us.” Itachi said but Kisame disagreed.

“Not with the two of you fighting like this.”

Always the voice of impulse, Itachi's hair had to pipe up, “Maybe we're still fighting because there's no way that you can really mean what you're saying. That it's inevitable for you to start showing some favoritism.”

Kisame tossed his hands up in the air with a yell. Damn it, what was _with_ these two? For someone as mature as Itachi liked to present himself as, he was approaching this in a completely immature way. And, despite Itachi _saying_ that he understood, his hair's words just proved that he didn't have any connection to them.

What else could he try? What was something _so_ drastic that they wouldn't deny how much he liked both of them.

Oh.

Oh, _that_ could work.

“ **How about...”** Kisame hummed, as he took Itachi's hand, **“I show the both of how much I love you in equal measure?”**

* * *

 

Itachi's apartment was located in a part of town that made for beautifully quiet nights. And such quiet was very much needed when you needed to wrap your head around the fact that you just fucked with your half-dragon boyfriend.

“Wow.” Itachi's hair quickly whispered. His eyes were locked onto the bedside drawer as he was laying on his side. As to not smother his hair.

Kisame lit up a cigarette and took a long, deep drag. “Yep.” He exhaled, smoke and mist curling up in the air.

Itachi sat up, petting his hair down. “So that's what topping is like, huh?”

Kisame immediately looked away. He cleared his throat, “Uh-huh! Yeah, that's totally how it is!”

Itachi's lips flattened into a frown as his hair asked, _“It wasn't good for you, was it?”_

“No, no!” Kisame did his best to reassure his boyfriend...s. Did hair identify as the same gender as the person who had it? “It was good, it really was...” Another frown from Itachi finally had Kisame sighing, “Okay, I'll admit it: bottoming doesn't do anything for me.”

“Then why did you put yourself through that?” Itachi didn't understand why Kisame would go through the hassle of putting himself out like this.

Kisame exhaled more mist and smoke. “Because sometimes being in a good relationship means doing things that you might not be into for the benefit of someone you care about. Think about someone going to root for their S.O. At a Chess tournament when they think Chess is the most boring shit in the world. Or taking the time to read your loved one's writing to support them when you hate reading.”

“Isn't that the same thing as being dishonest?” Itachi's hair asked.

Kisame shook his head, “It's about maintaining a proper level of self-sacrifice and compromise without having to belittle yourself. Communication and understanding. And, yeah, it takes a while; a lot of relationships don't even get to that point.” He finished off his cigarette and crushed the remains in his palm until the embers subsided. Itachi watched as Kisame rolled over and pulled him close. “But, with the two of you, I'm willing to try again and again until we _do_ get to that point.”

Both Itachi and his hair went silent. There just didn't seem to be much to say. Kisame loved both of them and despite how much of a train-wreck they were, he was willing to be patient and understanding. Itachi's hair did what Itachi was unsure of and gently wrapped some of itself around Kisame.

Tomorrow was another day.

* * *

 

The bedside alarm brightly displayed 12:45 PM in red lettering.

“Didn't we have an exam this morning?”

“... Well, guess that's a class we'll have to retake.”

“ _A couple of regular geniuses, you two are."_

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> In Japanese Mythology, the Futakuchi-Onna is usually the result of women being married to misers who will barely feed them. So a second mouth grows in the back of their head and feeds in secret. 
> 
> Itachi's hair is more of a manifestation of all of his impulsive and negative habits so he could keep up his 'perfect' nature.
> 
> Thank you all for reading and huge thanks to everyone who has contributed to KisaIta Week this year! I had more things planned but, again, you never know what time has in store for you. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading! Grandma loves you!


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